Ridiculous World

I've been doing alot of thinking lately, and It's not good. I generally make a point of not watching or reading the news, sports news excepted, because it's just too damn depressing. I do catch the odd bit piece every now and again though, and I talk to different people all day. There is one thing I have noticed about people for along time and that is, that mostly People Suck!

These are generalisations, however I have noticed fewer and fewer exceptions to these rules recently.

Basically you either have:

Very very Wealthy people who because they are so wealthy feel they should only have to deal with people that are either very very wealthy themselves or people they pay to do things for them. Anyone else is simply an inconvenience to their very important selves and a waste of their ever so valuable time. The only mistakes these people make are hiring people that make mistakes meanig they have to deal with someone faling into the aformentioned "Anyone Else" category of whom they will treat like dirt. They don't care how things work, so long as they don't have to deal with it.

Wealthy people who think that becasue they have money they can treat other people like dirt, they are seemingly incapable of making mistakes, and if they don't work the exact way they want them to those thing are just ridiculous and must have been designed by some with significantly inferior intellectual capabilities than themselves.

The not wealthy people, named so in an effort to be PC. These people don't have much at all, but it's not their fault. Everything and everyone is against them. They spend all their money at the pub or the TAB, but it's the governments fault they can't feed their kids. Their kids normally number 3 or more, who probably get into some kind of trouble with some form of authority, which is not the parents fault, it's the TV's fault, or Grand Theft Auto's fault.

Now in the middle is your standard middle class. These are a mixed bag and financial status aside could share common characteridstics with any of the above groups. Generally though they seem to be the most reasonable group of human beings, the most in touch with human nature, and the social landscape as a whole.

As I said there are the anomolies in each group, and there are really down to earth, genuine, interesting and more implotantly Human people in all groups. People who just take life as it comes, they listen as much or more than they talk, they are reasonable. I guess what I'm trying to convey is that the number of people who display the traditionally more appealing human qualities seems to be decreasing and the number of people who display the less desirable Human Qualities is increasing dramatically. But They are too busy being self important to care.

It is now totally acceptable to expect more, of better quality, and delivered faster for significantly less.
It used to be that getting what you paid for was what was expected. Getting what you paid for was standard it could be considered good, Gettng what you paid for, meant not getting ripped off. There was a safety in knowing quality was generally linked to cost. Now you just never know. It seems that regardless how much or how little you paid for something if you don't get something for free you are being reipped off.
It's the same in everything though, products and services, are expected to be better than before and cheaper.

I mean to me it seems ludicrous that their are people in the world employed to make phone calls for people. Not even make phone calls, their job is to dial a number and when someone answers put the call through to the person who wanted the call made... I mean really. But then it also seems ludicrous to me that mothers make phone calls for their children, their 30+ year old children.

I've been ranting about this so I'm gonna stop. I will say however, people are getting dumber, more and more problems are being touted as being unsolvable, while the people who have the solutions are silenced by those who make massive profits off of those unsolvable problems. The more intelligent people don't want to have kids too early because the world is messed up, and the least most intelligent people have unearthed a recessive rabbit gene and continue to fill up trailor parks, council flats, and housing commision housing with their little rabbit gened children. Forget Global Warming, the world is fine it's us as a species that are in trouble, we will soon enter an age when finding the perfect description for what your farts smell like will be more important than well damn near anything....

Be afraid I reckon, It's not the apocolypse, It's idiocracy and it's time is nigh.

Ridiculous amounts of boredom

So I'm at work, and it's safe to say that it's not the most creatively inspiring place in the world. Seriously I'm sitting here doing nothing, I can't think of anything to write. Nothing stupid or remotely funny has happened today. I've had two coffees, and a panini for lunch. Now im sitting at my desk somewhere between, slightly chilled and a little too warm with nothing to do.

I'm looking around at these people and I just have no kind of response to them, it's weird. Maybe I'm in what a slightly older version of myself would call "A funk". Well I have no response until I see the people who have been employed for maybe 3 months coming around telling the rest of us how to do our jobs....

But really I'm just sitting typing whatever comes into my head trying to find some enthusiasm for anything other than walking out the door and taking a nap on the footpath.. Hell the tips might be worth it...

Ultimately when I think about it a little more it would suck, because people suck, and I would probably get robbed and beaten before someone gave me money. But I wonder how long i could sit in the middle of a busy footpath before anyone stopped to ask if I was ok. I wouldn't ask me, I would make a dumb joke about the guy witting in the middle of the footpath though, it would be random and funny, and if I'd seen it I'd probably be writing about it actually happening instead of writing about wondering about if I did it. It's just not the same.

Wow I really dislike those people who are just tooooooo happy. You know the ones that are just way too bubbly, they are soo happy all the time, and talk to you all the time, and don't see the irony in your cynical sense of humour.. they are the people who think they are awesome at their jobs but give people the wrong information, yep thats right, you aren't as good as you think you are.

Wow this is fun, I wonder how long I can keep this up. Probably not that long, it's bound to get boring sometime soon. But oh well it's not now, maybe if i keep expecting it to get boring it won't just to spite me.

Haha, looked left and read "I'd like to run into you later - when I'm driving and your walking."  some comedien said it once upon  a time, funny stuff...

Oops work is calling, wow Idle chatter about my location, yipee you're my best friend. yay finished enter silence!

I feel like more coffee but 2 is enough isn't it. wow I just got hissed at by a grown man.... It's ok he's religious, Ill forgive him.

Waiting for the bus "friend"

So this morning I got to the bus stop, and I was the only one there, the bus was 10 mins away so I sat down. Along came old mate, who said something about the weather, I gave a half hearted reply MISTAKE.

Obviously old mate took this as an opportunity to dive right in - In the ten minutes it took for the bus to come, I found out, his brothers name and that the brother is married. I found out that people who work in the cbd are generally rude, and that he had been treated poorly the last time he went to the post office. I got the rundown on his former Boss, whom he affectionately referred to as Chief. The fact that Chief had been disillusioned with his position of power and requested a demotion which was granted, however everyone still referred to him as Chief and called him Boss. I also got a few other little tidbits that I mostly ignored.

Now this guy, a total stranger, just rattled on about all this stuff while I sat there. I had no interest, but didn't want to be a total prick so nodded and "ah-huh" every now and again. But I couldn't quite believe the sheer volume of information he fired at me. I mean I know some happy people out there just like to have a bit of a chat, but wow this really surprised me...

I think I'll catch an earlier bus tomorrow...

Ridiculous Morning

2 things happened this morning that made it just that little bit more ridiculous than normal. First of all it's that wonderful source of so many ridiculous occurences, the bus.

Todays Bus ride seemed to be going just fine, I had a seat the bus wasn't full and it was actually running on time. Until...  We hit the busway and instead of turning left to continue into the city, the bus turns right, but not onto another street, into a carpark. A special Bus carpark. The bus gets parked and the drivers bolts out the door and disappears. At this stage everyone on the bus is turning around and looking at everyone for some clue that anybody know whats going on.
About 5 minutes later the bus driver comes flying back into the bus and without saying a word our journey continues....

My guess is it was a quick toilet stop for our driver, which I know everyone is entitled to. However when it makes me late for work I get annoyed.

Second. The elevator. I get in the elevator with 2 other people the first guy is going to floor 1, the second guy to floor 5 and me well im up in the 20's (this is no indication of how important my job is, and if it were I'd have to be working in a basement somewhere). well the first guy gets out and then the second guy starts going off about how he hates waiting for people in elevators as its such a massive waste of his time. I mutter a non commital response that he doesn't hear so he holds the door open on his floor to tell me again how he hates people who hold up the lift......

You prick!!! Shut up and let me enjoy the next 15+ floors in peace!

Nothing Ridiculous about it

Last week I had the great pleasure of going to Ballymore and watching the Classic All Blacks take on the Calssaic Wallabies. It was an awesome game of rugby, and with the proceeds going to help out the Christchurch earthquake was a great cause as well.

Sitting there watching some of my favourite players from yesteryear running around was something I won't be forgetting anytime soon. Jeff Wilson and Christian Cullen I have to say were something akin to heroes when I was younger so watching them was a highlight to the night.

Overall I was blown away at the skills these older guys still have, the speed and raw power might have diminshed a little but the ball handling and general skills were something to behold.

With a massive Kiwi presence in the stands it was great to see the Classic AB's stroll to victory, it was a hugely successful event for the folks back home so mad kudos to all who bought a ticket or ten.

It does however make me think about other classic matches around the  world that I would love to see.

How about.
Classic East All Stars vs Classic West All Stars Basketball game.

Classic Man United vs Classic Liverpool Soccer match (football)

Classic Brazil vs Classic Argentina Soccer match (football)

Classic Ashes match Australia vs England in a 20/20 cricket match.

There is so many more but I'll cut it out now. What do you reckon, what classic match would you like to see?

Ridiculous Bus Drivers

Today I have a little bit of hate for bus drivers..

Bus drivers who drive their buses past bus stops they are supposed to stop at.  Yeah I guess your job can be pretty thankless dealing with people who are often in a hurry to get somewhere, but seriously, your job is to stop and pick people up at certain bus stops, if your bus isn't full, there is no reason you should be just driving on past.

Bus drivers who can't seem to tell when their bus is full. Like really really full. The reason nobody standing in the aisle is moving to make room for more people, is because they cant move, because there is already no more room. I had a bus trip the other day, and the driver kept telling people not to stand on the red painted area at the front of the bus. he did this 3 stops in a row where he let more people on. by the third stop there were 2 of us standing fully in the red area. So if your going to fill up your bus so much that people HAVE to stand in the "no standing area", don't then have a whinge that people are standing there.

End whinge

And So It Happened

As I said in my previous post, my "My Player" in NBA 2k11 seems to be running into injury problems that I have trouble with in my own life. It started as I said with back spasms, and just last night he twisted his ankle.

So my little virtual NBA player has now had 2 injuries, that just happen to be injuries that I seem to run into reasonably frequently. Coincidence??

Ridiculous Game Imitating Life

So those that know me well, know 2 things about me.

1 - I love to play video games either on my computer or my PS3

2 - I have a dodgy back which leads me to (some might say whinge) complain of the pain I'm currently feeling in my back. Really is pretty screwed and I often feel like a bit of an old man in need of a walking stick.

So my current gaming obsession is for NBA 2k11 where I have been playing the my player mode - I have created a point guard currently in his rookie season.

So when My Player got injured during a game and was out for a week I was a bit sad. However when I checked the injury details to find out what was wrong with him I really just had to laugh.

Back Spasms

How crazy that my real life ailments have followed me into the gaming world. Now I'm waiting for My Player to sprain his ankle or crush his heel.

...... Ridiculous

So the supermarket was an eventful place for me last night, and whilst walking home I was exposed to the following..

Leaving the supermarket with my girlfriend and starting the short walk home, we approached a set of lights that were red, and as we slowed and waited behind 2 middle aged blokes waiting to cross it happened.
One of the guys in front of us, had a hand on his hip, which then moved down, and was on his left bum cheek. Then he started rubbing his bum cheek.. In fact I'm not sure I can call it rubbing, the only accurate way I can think of is that he was doing nothing more than playing with his bum cheek. Yep just playing..

It was the kind of thing that you don't want to see happening in the street, but it was also something I couldn't not look at!! I like to think I was checking for an explanation. Was he checking to make sure he had his wallet. No, his shorts had no pocket on the left bum cheek. Was he just having a scratch?? Everyone is entitled to a quick bum scratch every now and again, but no he was not having a sneaky scratch. Was he rearranging his underwear?? Everyone knows that sometimes things just don't stay in the right place.. But again no, there was no attempt made to rearrange the undies..

Now this guy actually turned around and saw us standing there, but this did not deter him. Most people if while having a scratch  become aware someone MIGHT be able to see them, they stop IMMEDIATELY.. This guy nup, he was loving his bum cheek, and nothing would stop him until he was ready to stop.

Obviously this provided a bit of a laugh for us on the way home so thanks Ridiculous man who plays with his bum in public.

Ridiculously Super market

So yesterday I went to the Supermarket after work. and while there I saw a bloke standing at the deli, and he wanted some Pork Salad I think (I think that's what he was saying).  Now let me point out that this guy very obviously was not all there, hi attic was very bare indeed. But did that make it more or less funny, I don't know. The lady serving at the deli had obviously dealt with him before and kept telling him they don't sell it anymore. Now he just kept going on and on about this salad almost to the point where he could have been having a joke about it with the serving lady, I don't think he was but he could have been.

Adding unintentional humour to the already humorous, was the lady actually being served. Her self importance bubbling through when, clearly annoyed by this harmless individuals desire for some pork salad she burst out with "Mind your Patience, wait your turn!". I was chuckling heartily to myself after this, and I couldn't suppress the smile any longer, so all those around knew that I was having a laugh at the simple mans antics.. But wow seriously? mind your patience.. I remember my mother saying that to me when I was about 6..

So its not the crazy little man and his love of pork salad today, Its self important lady being served that wins at supermarket ridiculousness,

Ridiculous Blog

I have been thinking about this blog a little bit, and the more I do the more ridiculous it seems to me.
I'm not going to stop anytime soon, but I'd like to make it known that I too find it a little bit ridiculous. In saying that I love it, I enjoy writing and sharing all of this stuff, that has either previously just been a thought that disappears to nothing, or a piece of work lying unread and unshared in the depths of a digital graveyard.

In saying that I find things a little bit funny.. If see a guy standing there talking to himself, you automatically get that thought that he's not quite there. Is this blog a written conversation I'm having with myself, and you people reading are reading thinking "He's not the full quid". So because this conversation I'm having with myself takes longer and seems to be more drawn out, does that make more, or less crazy than the bloke walking down the street mumbling to himself walking his dog that doesn't exist?

Rescued from my Broken Hard Drive... Metaphor?

As unedited as the day it was written.

I mean I could, but I find there is something a little more real about things in their original form..

Butterflies and Roses

fragile in serenity
safe in anonimity
passed over
not forgotten
on paths
so rarely trodden
I found one
and it flew
found the other
its thorns I knew
alluring
in the mystery
the future
part of history
I sat
I waited patiently
left behind
oh so blatantly
the thoughts
of what had happened
left me
all alone and saddened
the beauty
in different poses
I'm chasing
Butterflies and Roses
pots of gold
forever rainbows
coming to terms
with all I wont know
weighed down
withdrew inside me
shut down
dont want your eyes to see
looked around
inside my hall of thoughts
wondered how you could be caught
searching
for the answers
reasons
for missed chances
unexpectedly
I realised
out of nowhere
I theorised
stupid
I have been
not all
is what it seems
worry
now subsided
certain
I was misguided
irony
in my surprise
not the hunter
not the prize
didnt lose
there is no win
inside me
there was no sin
its your turn
try as you might
are you ready
prepared to fight
intriging
my many poses
Iam
Butterflies
Iam
Roses

Scooter Ridiculousness

Yet again my trip to work provides evidence of the ridiculousness that this blog just stamps its feet and rolls around on the ground in a tantrum in an effort to get. Oh the morning bus ride, how fun you always are.

This morning the bus I caught was packed, and I ended up standing right the front of the bus holding on for dear life which isn't always that fun, but looking straight out the front window of the bus in its entirety is a different experience. Now mr scooter man of ridiculousness, is not only ridiculous but also lucky. Lucky not to be dead, as in NOT alive anymore.. I don't know if you've noticed Mr scooter man, but buses are quite big, like bigger than cars and certainly much bigger than your meagre frame of flesh and bone, and your little scooter.. Buses are big, heavy and made of metal which is hard, really really hard.

What happened this morning was this.

The bus pulled up at a T intersection in the leftmost lane turning right. So there is 2 lanes both turning right.

The light goes green the bus pulls out commencing the right turn. Little scooter comes up beside the bus on the right hand side.

Just as the scooter noses in front of the us, ridiculous little scooter man pulls in font of the bus and turns left!!! Bus driver man, hits the brakes and somehow manages to not hit ridiculous little scooter man, and having the vantage point I had during the whole thing I have no idea how ridiculous little scooter man didn't become the ridiculously injured or dead guy formerly known as ridiculous little scooter man.

One thing that made me smile was that once it was realised that we wouldn't be seeing the aftermath of bus vs scooter I immediately looked at the driver, his face was a brilliant combination of, anger, relief, fear, and frustration. Then I realised he was trying to turn the corner, glare at ridiculous little scooter man, and find the button for the horn at the same time which he couldn't because it's one of those horns that has 2 little buttons on the steering wheel, and by the time he found it, it was way to late.


Congratulations, ridiculous little scooter man, I estimate your ridiculousness to be within the range of 9 - 9.9 out of 10

Memories of Ridiculous Conversations

I created
a pro
that procreated
and a con
that concreted
and an un
that uncrated
but then they tried to procreate in a crate that fell and broke on the concrete
it was sad

Being Ridiculously In

So as far as conversations go I just had one, flicked me in the brain with its tiny little rubber band.

After knowing someone for a while, how do you know you have got past that point of casual acquaintance, to the point where you now understand that I'm not insulting you, I' just showering you with the gift of my verbal awkwardness. Really though, you don't just walk up to people after a certain amount of time and go.
"Hey man, you are my friend." do you? How weird would that be if it happened to you..

Anyway it just made me realise how much we rely on assumptions in our fringe relationships. I mean your mates are your mates, and that's awesome cause you hang out all the time, drink together, etc etc. But these fringe people, the ones you see a lot, at work, or in a sports team, or at the RSL or where ever, how do you know what they reckon. Personally I think if they are polite, aren't obviously hoping you will leave them alone soon, and answer any question with more than two word answers, this means that they don't think I'm a giant c0ck head. I might be wrong, but I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.

Random Thought End

Ridiculous S@#T Happens

Now I, like everyone has an opinion on Tony Abbott's Shit Happens video and without getting into it to much, I don't think it deserves as much attention as its getting. To me its obvious that in this case "Sometimes Shit Happens" means - that sometimes despite the best preparations, and even with all the support you could need, bad things happen. That is all.


On another note, does anyone else think if the troops didn't have to babysit politicians, their aids, and other hangers on, they might actually find the guy they are looking for?

Running Ridiculousness

So running has become pretty popular all over the world now hasn't it. No longer is it used solely during sporting endeavours, including the actual sport of running. It's become more than just a means of fleeing, from dangerous animals, dangerous people, dangerous weather, dangerous police. Some would say it's become fun.. Personally I baulk at the suggestion that left foot right foot at a speed greater than a walk is fun, but then I do not, and  am not destined to ever understand everything and everyone.

I see people running everywhere during the course of my day, maybe they are late, maybe they are just in a hurry, maybe, and you can generally tell if you look at their faces, they are making all possible haste to drop the kids off at the pool. My point is lots of people run..

Strangely though during the course of a couple of months walking the same 15 minute walk every day with a friend of mine we discovered something about running. People seem to prefer running on Tuesdays.. I don't know why, but during the course of our walk we would note more runners on Tuesdays, and I'm not talking about old mate running for his bus (that he always missed hahahaha) I'm talking the ones fully decked out to run. Tight little singlet tops, short shorts or tights, invariably the Asics or Mizuno's on the feet just running cause they can.. So we nominated Tuesday as the official (in our little world) Runner Day. So watch out on Tuesdays around Brisbane, as runner day is upon you!

Today I encountered a special type of runner. To be honest it scares me a little bit, and I feel it is my duty to warn people.
The Stealth Runner.. Not only was he running on a Thursday (which isn't runner day so my surprise was amplified) but I heard nothing until I heard his breath in my ear... I was walking down a quiet street, I wasn't wearing headphones listening to music, I was just enjoying the day then Bam!! I heard big sweaty runner breath, it sounded like it came from a place somewhere in between a sigh and a groan, then he ran on in front of me.. I couldn't believe it.. I didn't hear a thing. Adding to my already ample surprise he WAS NOT a small person dressed as a ninja. So watch your backs people, not only are they running on days that aren't runner day.... They may have or be in development of stealth running technologies that could have you filling your undies on your leisurely stroll...

General ridculousness

Why would you want to manage your money with Internet Banking, when you freely admit you "can't use a computer"?

I often wonder why you accelerate as fast as you can only to slam on your brakes 100 metres down the road at the next red light?

I think the next time you walk into a mensroom, with more than 3 occupants, you should start whistling, and see how long it takes for others to start whistling.


I went a got lunch today at my usual cafe, and ordered a Eggs Benedict Panini.. Two young construction boys ordered after me and 1 of them ended up getting my eggs benno panini... I was fairly relaxed at the time and I just figured he ordered the same and I would get his, however I then found out that he ordered a chicken caeser panini...

So wow can someone tell me how one earth chicken caesar, sounds like Eggs Benedict??

Little construction boy, your lack of hearing ability is ridiculous.

I used to think about stuff, a long time ago.

Searching through some ridiculously old clutter in my computer I found some things from times gone by..

I think my brain used to work a lot better than it does now.



Tomorrow may bring brighter sky’s

But then it may still rain

Think about your problems

Try to place the blame

You know it can’t be all your fault

So someone has to pay

The mistake you didn’t learn from

The words you didn’t say

Then you come to realise

You've been so focused on the pain

So many good things have passed you by

Never to be regained

Realise then it is your life

That only you can save

All the heartache, all the pain

Has made you into who you are

Now tell me would you change?

All we can do is try our best

And fill our hearts with faith

That even though the sky is dark

And all you see is rain

The answer is not to just give up

There are always better days.

Bus of Ridiculousness

Going to work provides the opportunity for me to experience people in a heightened state of ridiculousness.
People on public transport, enter into their special place, I don't know what it is but people just don't seem to be all there on the bus. They become totally immersed in their phones, books, hands, papers, laptops. Some just stare at the head of the person in front of them. Personally I like to keep my eye out for the eye rollers, those (mostly) middle aged woman, who just roll their eyes at everything, that guys shoes, that ladies hair, the bus stopping to pick more people up, the bus stopping to let people off, almost everything that occurs on a bus is reason to roll the eyes for these people.

Then you get the angry ones, These guys (mostly) just seem to get pissed off at everything on the bus, like pretty much everything the eye roller rolls her eyes at, this guy gets firey about.

I met a ridiculous angry bus man today on the bus. If you catch a bus from my bus stop during peak time you know there is a high possibility that you will be standing up, and you know that if possible you secure yourself a standing spot where you have two solid hands holding on...

Ridiculous angry man this morning got on the bus in front of me, we stood, me behind him and we both had good spots with the all important two hands holding on. Now old mate started fidgeting a bit, and I got amused. The all of sudden angry decides enough is enough, turns around to me, and starts swearing. Wearing headphones I didn't catch it all, but I heard a few F bombs get dropped. I'm thinking he wants to get past. I turn sideways, which of course basically means shoving your ass in the face of the person sitting down there.
Angry old mate gets past me finally and I'm thinking hes spied a seat up the back he's gunning for. But no, He just sets up behind me and keeps standing up, really?? WTF angry man, what have you just accomplished. You annoyed me, but ultimately gave me something to do this morning in writing this up, you moved from your solid standing spot on the bus to a spot where you could only hold on with one hand, and flapped around like a beached fish, banging into me and others as you did so.

Congratulations angry bus man, your ridiculousness is truly something to behold, I just hope next time its from a distance.

My happy place is randomly ridiculous

First posts are kinda weird I reckon, however most of the time you have a general direction you want to go in because whatever your posting on has a purpose of definitive subject matter. This one really doesn't.

I set this up because I was bored, and my job basically, has me in that state of mind most of the time, it's one of those jobs where you tell people you're having a great day, even though you got out of bed at 6 am still tired after 10 hours sleep, spent half an hour in a packed bus with broken air con, before getting to work flicked your brain on autopilot and went into subconscious hibernation for the next 8 hours.

So yeah life is grand, and I'm in a sharing mood so here we are back to this being the first post and me trying to explain myself, when I probably don't need to, because if I did you probably would have stopped reading after the first paragraph. What will follow, is just random stuff really, anything I see or hear or do, or even think may be shared with anyone who cares to read about it.

I'm not a master of anything, I'm just trying not to feel like a slave.

I'm not addicted to anything, but there are certain things I crave.

eh home time.